letter to my bro.

dear christian,

(insert heartfelt letter here)

your big bro,
clarence

umm, yeaaa.
writing a letter to your little bro isn't quite
as easy as you might think.

just so ya know...
mom asked me to write you a letter for
kairos, and i said yes...totally accepted the challenge
but, honestly, when it came down to crunch time, ya knoww,
i figured that a well thought out meaningful response
would mean much more than just a quick few lines.

sooo, uhh, after tossing and turning over in my head
what exactly i'd write or say to you, i came up with
basically the most cliched one liner of all time -
you guessed it...the three words that say it all...

yet, thinking back, i really don't think that this world
renowned phrase has been part of our every day dialogue
or discourse back at home...really, at all.

suure, we hear it all the time on tv, at the movies, in books,
online, or on the radio...but foreals, how often have we actually
used this eternally reiterated tri-syllabic expression
when talking to and or referring to one another or others...
even when it comes to mom and dad.

i know, at least for me, i feel like this kind of thing should be obvious,
if not by situational implication, but by the very fact that
we have been, are, and always will be there for one another...
who needs words when we have actions...experience?
how much worth do three measly words have anyway?

at this point, i don't even really know what to say-write anymore.
i'd love to share with you all about my life, the things i've seen, experienced,
and gone through, as if they were just as important to you as they are to me,
and to learn all about who it is you are, have become, and think will be.
at the same time, though, i almost feel as though these things are only really
secondary - outwards signs of a deeper, more meaningful human connection.

i mean, in truth, how willing can you possibly be to share about yourself
deeply, from the heart, when you can't even say three small words from the
same place?

it sounds much more sinister than it really is, but, how often
have we listened to others for reasons other than pure and simple love...
for a secret, most of the time rather innocent, hidden agenda?

the same goes for the things we choose to say...how vulnerable, reeeally,
are we willing to make ourselves...

lemme just take a step back for now and say that these are just some
of the questions that i have been struggling with as of late...annnnd,
though i am tempted to just leave you with this and the usual bits
and pieces of advice like "always stay on the straight and narrow"...
"trust in God"..."stay focused, always look ahead"...."never give up"...
or some fortune cookie quote like "i see much success in your future"...
"pride yourself in the power of love"...etc. i am instead going to leave
you with a little something i've learned:

go ahead and choose your own path, carve out your own future, believe in
whatever or whoever you want, make mistakes, fall off the "road to heaven,"
give up when the going gets tough...just know that you're a child of the
earth and of a society that is going to tell you these things -
every minute of every day.

don't be afraid when the world tells you lies and bullshit
that sound like the truth,
its part of being a human being...
we're physical and have a desire for feeling
and experience...nevertheless...

never forget that you are also a child of God - you're creator who knows this
and won't hold it against you for desiring the nature of your flesh to
"be there" and have "done that"...
even if you were to go as far as to forfeiting the whole of
your life and being to this superficial, "natural" side of you...

just know that you will not be complete.
for, we are, in part, supernatural...alien...not of this world.
you will desire more. to ignore this fact may be "natural"
but it is subhuman.


sooo, hmmm.
that's about it i guess.
can't really piece together all that i wrote,
but i hope its enough to give you a little something
to think about.

peace.
love you bro!

the way

you are full of weaknesses.
every day you see them more clearly. but
don't let them frighten you. HE well
knows you can't yield more fruit.

your involuntary falls--those of a
child--show your Father GOD that he must
take more care, and your Mother Mary
that she must never let you go from her
loving hand. Each day, as our Lord picks
you up from the ground, take advantage of
it, embrace him with all your strength and
lay your wearied head on his open breast
so that you'll be carried away by the
beating of his most loving heart...

right now.

is as good a time as any to say
"thank you" for this day

for the leaves on the trees
and for the chilly ocean breeze

for the friends you've entrusted to me
and for all my enemies

for the times i've felt so loved
and for the rain you send from above

but most of all,
right now, i'd like to say that
these words do little justice
to all you give me
and i pray.

that you help me understand you
to discover what is true
for all my dreams and wishes
could never paint the morning hue
in orange, gold, and purple
life passes like a wink
so much still is there to be witnessed
Lord, i pray that i may not blink.

amen.